-Story 1: The Carnival-

"Yeah chad cant wait....yeah see you tonight" Said Marie as she got out of the car.
Marie walked towards the door and started thinking of how that night might end, so many ways, love,break-ups,ect..she just couldn't wait for whatever drama was heading her way.
It was 10 O'clock and Marie was ready to go to the carnival with chad and two other friends named Frankie and Wendy. Marie looked out the window and seen her friends pulling up. "Come on Marie! The carnival closes at 11, we have one hour!" screamed Frankie.
Marie got her necklace and ran outside and up to the car and got into the passenger seats. The group headed out towards the Carnival as Marie had her Ipod out and looking at it. The group pulled up at the carnival as tech seen only 4 other cars were there. "Where is everybody? Its not time for the place to shut-down yet" Said Wendy, "I guess tonight wasn't a good night for the place." Said Chad.
The group got out of the car and went up to the ticket booth "How many?" Said the ticket conductor, "Only four" said Chad. "That will be $15.25, good luck for all of you." Said tech Conductor. Marie looked back at the conductor and the conductor looked at her and had a faint smile.
"What's first" Said Chad, "To the Ferris wheel!!!" Screamed Frankie. The group went up to the man up at the Ferris Wheel and gave the man a ticket. The guy up at the attraction stared at the group as they passed by and said "I wouldn't go up there, we have had some loose screws." The group all got onto the attraction and the ride started.
The Wheel went around about 8 times and then the music stopped,the lights went off and the place went to a complete stand-steel. The group was in a panic.
The hours passes by, "Guys, what happened??!!" Screamed Wendy, "Lets see if the guy that was down there can help us!!!" Screamed Chad, the group looked down and seen somebody laying on the bench he was at "You down there? Can you help us?!?!" Screamed Frankie. It ends up that the black figure down below was a skeleton, the man that was given the ticket was dead, seems as if hes been there for years.
The group could hear laughing from the other seats and rides "What the f-ck is that sound???!!!" Screamed Marie. The group heard "You'll never get out now, you'll be here forever,and forever,forever.." as if a little girls voice. The group looked down at the seat from behind and seen two dead bodies of a small girl and a large women. The group was there for over 12 years, all but Marie were starved and fell dead leaving Marie setting there starving and waiting for her death.
The police came in after 13 years and were looking for members of the staff, all they found were skeletons of workers,cars out in the parking lot that have rusted over and 1 survivor, that survivor was Marie "What happened?" said Marie. "How did you survive? All the people here have been dead for over 70 years!" Said a policeman. Marie was in shock for the rest of her life.

-END OF STORY ONE-


Was it good???

It's a decent story. Many people are going to tell you to correct the spelling for sure.
You could've used some more detail during the ferris wheel power down. Instead you just skipped it...making hours go by...not really that suspense you know. Dig in and make it horrifying...add grimy details .


The ending is very...odd...how could marie survive for 13 years without food and water?


My bad for the analysis...just helping you out.

not bad buddy. i took the liberty of correcting your spelling errors. most browser have spelling correction.just food for thought bud. other that that not much was spelled wrong. remember the rule " i before e except after c..

^ GRAMMER NAZI ALERT!!!

I like it, but.. I really dont get how she survived for 13 years? Did I miss something?

That. Made. No. Sense.

That's all I can say.